Father of two Bryce McWilliam has had his Derby Day plans “turned upside down” by a little pink envelope brought home from primary school.

McWilliam, 35, said he had been weighing up whether to attend this year’s VRC Derby Day meeting at Flemington or soak it in from a local pub with mates, but both options are now seemingly off the table after his five-year-old daughter presented him with an invitation for her current “best friend’s” birthday party on October 31.

“Normally you get some warning with these things but the parents have clearly just forgotten about organising the party and thrown in a late nom,” a distraught McWilliam told this masthead.

“The colour and the whimsical handwriting on the envelope had me bracing for a shit sandwich, but it was even worse than I imagined.”  

The Pakistan Star understands that the rainbow unicorn-themed celebration is scheduled to run at a west Melbourne park during the prime quaddie hours of 3pm until 5pm, with parents “actively encouraged to attend and provide added supervision”.

When realising a drop-off, pick-up situation was out of the question, McWilliam said he felt the colour drain from his face “like the time I had a packet on Jimmysstar and he was somehow mowed down by that thief Makram”.

“I had to sit down, it was a dagger to the heart. Or in this case, a unicorn’s horn to the heart.”

McWilliam’s wife, who will reportedly be on younger sibling duty at the time of the party, could not be contacted for comment. Sources close to the situation however have confirmed that her reaction to the news was one of ‘restrained jubilation’, given her husband’s usual condition on Derby Day evening. 

More to follow.