A local man has praised the “remarkable” progress his homeschooled children have made in numeracy since the start of the year, crediting a carefully curated curriculum of maths-focused excursions to various TABs and PubTABs.

Wedding celebrant Wayne Cattermole told The Pakistan Star that he was “incredibly proud” of the way both seven-year-old Isabella and nine-year-old Barnaby had applied themselves.

“Little Issy didn’t know the first thing about market percentages when we first started, now she’s blowing up about One Pool,” Mr Cattermole said.

“And Barnaby is really showing a natural flair for the exotics, he’s become our family’s ‘go-to’ when it comes to calculating roving bankers.”

Asked whether he had enjoyed the most recent field trip, Mr Cattermole said he had “never been more engaged” with his children’s education, and that the parma was “a pretty good size”.

This masthead understands that the next scheduled excursion will cover scratchings deductions, a notoriously difficult lesson that Mr Cattermole himself has been avoiding all year.

“Fucked if I know what’s going on with deductions these days,” he said.

More to follow.